CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE, HAIRY RISK TAKER

Tuvula Governor General, Lakopa
Italeli , demanding that the U.S. surender!

  

After dinner, Lakopa escorted Hairy to a small conference room with comfortable chairs. Once they were seated he asked, “What would you like to know?” Hairy said, “Why have you declared war against the United States?” Lakopa calmly explained, “Your country is the biggest cause of Global Warming which has a catastrophic future effect on Tuvula’s low lying islands. It is causing a rise in the sea level from thermal expansion and the melting of the planet’s ice caps. Since we are only 15 feet above sea level, it won’t be long before we are under water, and I’m not talking about a bad mortgage! Your reckless release of massive amounts of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere will cause our Island Nation to disappear. We want compensation or we will unleash our secret weapon and destroy the United States of America.”                                                                                                                                                                                               

“Okay”, said Hairy, “I understand the reasoning behind your declaration of war. Now, explain to me this ‘secret weapon’ that you claim to have.” Lakopa said, “It is not just an idle threat. We Polynesians have a sacred supernatural power called ‘Mana’. It is a force distinct from physical power and it can be used to great advantage by us when we are threatened with extinction. The spirits allow us to use this magical power in warfare_ thus, our declaration of war. If our demands are not met, we will cast a spell on President Obama that will make him borrow a couple of trillion dollars from China and give it to the nation of Tuvula as foreign aid. The U. S. will be forced into bankruptcy and the citizens of Tuvula will have enough cash to take over the United States.” “Wow!” said Hairy, “You Island people seem to have the upper hand. I guess my next and last question is, what are your demands?

To be continued...