CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

Hairy flew his private jet into the Houston International Airport and Teach picked him up with his Austrian KTM 990R motorcycle. It was a short ride to Teach’s home in the Kingwood subdivision where they got acquainted while enjoying cigars and scotch on Teach’s pool side patio. They were surprised by how much they had in common. Both were members of Mensa International, Pilots, philosophers, Marshal Arts experts, mechanical engineers, motorcycle enthusiasts, and Cracker Jack tap dancers. Hairy said to Teach, “With your permission, I am having you appointed by the CIA as an undercover agent in the war against drugs.” Teach said, “That’s great. Now, I don’t have to worry about being criticized by my Pastor for committing murder because I will be killing Drug Lords for my government.”

Teach took Hairy out to the shop in his 3 car garage to explain the customizing he had done to his motorcycle. He said, “There are remote controlled Glock 9mm Zombie Stopper rounds for port and starboard firing. These have the same knockdown power as a .45 and with the 30 round clips the devils spawn don’t have a chance. Taillight and headlight are equipped with the S&W 50 caliber pistols, also servo actuated and auto-targeted acquiring. The.50 can break an engine block of a large truck or pass through a normal car. The bike LCD instrument panel doubles as the target acquisition screen. All I need to do is decide if justice is needed and push a handlebar mounted firing toggle.” Then, Teach showed Hairy the Kevlar body armor and helmet that appears to be normal gear but are completely bullet proof. Hairy said, “Oh yeah, you are ready, man!”

To be continued…

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

Hairy Risk Taker used his contacts with the DEA, CIA, NSA, FBI, and the Department of Justice and the Association of Sunday School Teachers, to complete the profile of the deadly Columbian drug lords. Once known as the Medellin Cartel, after the death of Pablo Escobar, they are now known as “The Office of Envigado”. They continue to be an invincible criminal empire of power and wealth. They use ingenious smuggling techniques and extreme violence to avoid being captured and prosecuted. If a law enforcement officer tries to stop them, they assassinate him. If a judge rules against them, they assassinate him. If bribery doesn’t work, they assassinate the person who refuses the bribe. They use daring young hoodlums with machine pistols riding motorcycles as their assassins. Rarely are the fearless assassins captured or arrested.

Hairy decided to use their successful technique of assassination against them. The Association of Sunday School Teachers told him about a Texas Sunday School Teacher who was perfect for the job. His favorite Bible quote is “For I the LORD, love justice; I hate robbery and wrongdoing.” He also quotes, “A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up…” Rightfully or wrongfully, the Sunday School Teacher believes that killing the bad guys is okay. When contacted by Hairy, the SS Teacher, known by his friends as Teach, said that he would love to be the avenging angel dispensing justice to those who live to, and profit from, hurting God’s people. Coincidentally the Teacher was an armaments expert and a world class motorcycle rider. Hairy went down to Texas to make plans with Teach.

To be continued...

Motorcycle Assassin

CHAPTER FORTY, HAIRY RISK TAKER

Hairy asked the Freelance Thinker to do some thinking about the drug problem. The Thinker had some ideas that he shared with Hairy. He said the war against drugs will never be won, just like the war against poverty will never be won. The two wars have been going on for a long time and are likely to continue forever in the future. The best we can hope for is to keep the problems from getting worse.  The most pertinent question to ask is why do some people want to escape from reality into an altered state created by legal or illegal substances?  The cause has to be addressed in order for lasting changes to occur and the cause is an intrinsic part of human nature that is not going to change.

Many human beings never feel satisfied with life. They are not confident in themselves and don’t have hope in their life. Thus, they use drugs and intoxicants to escape from life. Criminals take advantage of this human condition. The problem can be controlled but never eliminated. Education and support for addicts can help but even if you decriminalize all the current illegal drugs, there will be new drugs invented and pushed by criminal dealers for money. The problem cannot be eliminated but it can be reduced by radical retribution measures taken against criminals who distribute the drugs. Hairy thanked the thinker for his insight. He decided to leave the education and support work to the social workers and he would implement the retribution against the dealers.

To be continued…

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

After they celebrated their success in eliminating corruption in the banking system, Number Woman went back to being a mild mannered accountant and Hairy Risk Taker went home to his Chicago penthouse to brood about his next assignment. He was hooked on fighting against evil and had decided his next campaign would be against the drug cartels who smuggled billions of dollars of cocaine and heroin into America. These criminal drug trafficking organizations cause millions of families and their addicted relatives to suffer living nightmares because of burned out brains and death from overdose. Young girls are forced to feed a crack habit by selling their bodies to crack dealers for unlimited sex.  Such things are beyond evil and the perpetrators deserve retribution.

Hairy was not sure of the best way to deal with our society’s drug problem. De-criminalizing drug use may be the first step in the right direction but maybe not. Relaxed restrictions could lead to more abuse and addiction. More and more ordinary people are concluding that the effects of our drug control policy are at least as harmful as the effects of drugs themselves. After decades of criminal prohibition and intensive law enforcement efforts to rid the country of illegal drugs, violent traffickers still endanger life in our cities, a steady stream of drug offenders still pours into our jails and prisons, and tons of cocaine and heroin still cross our borders unimpeded. As Hairy studied the problem, it became confusing and very complex. Before taking action, he decided to do a lot more research.

To be continued…

                              

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

Slippery Dick was not giggling when he woke up in a shelter for the homeless. In fact, he hurt all over and had no clue how he got there. There was a note pinned to his coat that read, “You must resign from being the president of your bank and tell the 5 other members of the Lords of Finance to do the same. If any of you fail to resign, you will suffer a fate 10 times worse than what just happened to you. By the way, check your forehead. We will be watching you.” The note was signed by, “The Angels of Retribution.”

Meanwhile, the Angels of Retribution were in an Irish Pub, celebrating their victory over evil. Number Woman took a sip of her Guinness and asked Hairy, “Do you think we did the right thing?”

“Absolutely!  Christians say that God allows evil because of free will but human beings also have the free will to do something about it. And those who are able, have a moral obligation to fight against evil. Albert Einstein said, ‘The world is a dangerous place; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.’ NW, I am proud of what we did and you should be, too.”

To be continued…

                        

                         THE BATTLE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

The home office of the Bank of America Corporation is at 100 North Tryon Street in Charlotte, North Carolina.  Ironically, only a few blocks south is one of the most undesirable neighborhoods in America. It is an area of abject poverty and dangerous criminal activity. The rent is low and that is why so many poor, old, widows live there. Every day, after work, slippery Dick the giggler went for a walk in this neighborhood to look for his prey. If he found one, and there were no witnesses, he would pounce on them for his entertainment. While giggling with mad enjoyment, he would beat them into submission and steal their purse.

Number Woman, disguised as a frail old widow, with Hairy in a hidden position of surveillance, began trolling the neighborhood and waited for slippery Dick to strike. One evening at dusk, slippery dick made his move. He quietly snuck up behind his victim and was about to push her onto the sidewalk when she whirled around and deftly kicked him in the solar plexus. He was stunned, paralyzed, and very surprised. With her deadly steel toed tap dancing shoes, she continued to kick him in a number of vulnerable places until he was unconscious. Then, she and Hairy transported him to a local tattoo parlor where they paid the artist to do a tattoo on his forehead that said, “I am a dirty puke who preys on widows and orphans.”   

To be continued…

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

After Number Woman rang Hairy’s doorbell, he opened the ornately carved teak wood door and said, “Come in, glad you’re here. I have some shocking news to discuss with you”.

  NW said, “I am hard to shock but go ahead and tell me.”

“Not until you sit down and I get some drinks to fortify us.” Hairy put two Kinsale Crystal glasses and a bottle of single malt scotch on the coffee table and poured a generous amount into each glass. Then, he said, “I knew that Slippery Richard was a sociopath who acted good for his own gain and was really an evil man. But I had no idea that he enjoys stealing from orphans and widows who are in distress!”

NW said, “My God, what’s he doing?”

“He breaks into orphanages at night and steals the kids’ piggy banks and he attacks old widows on the streets and steals their purses after he beats them up. These heinous acts give him so much pleasure that he giggles as he performs them. Slippery Dick, the giggler, is truly an evil man begging for retribution. How we going to do it?”

NW said, “I suggest we set a trap for him. You figure out the pattern of his activities and I will disguise myself as a helpless old widow to lure him into an attack on me. Then, I will kick him senseless with my steal toe tap shoes.

To be continued…