When I decided to write a blog post about fear, I asked my
friend, Patrick Dennis Fero, for some ideas. He responded with, “Fear is a great motivator. Nothing gets people going like a good
old-fashioned bodily threat. Fear is good because it often results in
deliberation, perspective and caution. Those who fear not generally end up
cleansing their gene pool. Dolts go where angels fear to tread. Aging
inculcates fear. The more experience one has, the more one realizes that fear
is justified more often than youth recognizes. Youth fears death; aging
justifies death. Instead of fearing death, one welcomes it if only to be rid of
that goddamn arthritis pain”.
I agree with most of what
he says but I think both the young and the old fear death. I am always
surprised when people say they are not afraid to die. I do not think it is
possible to overcome the fear of death. People cope with it by blocking it out.
They refuse to think about it. If you think about it, it will make you scared.
The awareness of the end of existence, or death, ritualized
the lives of our ancestors. These rituals were designed to reduce the fear of
death. Psychologists have addressed the hypothesis that fear of death motivates
religious commitment, and that it may be alleviated by assurances of an
afterlife. Studies have shown that church centered religiousness serves as a
protection against the fear of death. Believers have benefits and they are not
about to give them up, regardless of facts proven by science. "Convictions are more
dangerous enemies of truth than lies."
Mr. Fero is right. Fear is a great motivator!
Fear! Hey, all we have to fear is . . . well, you all know how that one ended. The incredible Tsar fears nothing . . . almost. The onset of boredom can create some anxiety in the Tsar’s improbable mind. But, behold, the Tsar has labored mightily and given birth to the following notion: Believers of everlasting life have more, much more, to worry about than those who do not believe. If there is no afterlife, then what’s to worry, eh? One second you’re screaming in stark terror as they apply power to the chair, the next . . . next . . . well, nothing actually. Piece of cake.
ReplyDeleteNow regard in wonder at the Tsar’s all-knowing creation of eternity. You spend eternity complaining about that damn arthritis that makes bowling impossible. Does it get any sadder than that? Well, yes, indeed. Consider spending interminable life listening to the constant harping of your maiden aunt who insists on living with you even though you put her bed in a corner of the garage. Or wondering if that lazy bum next door is once again going to let his maple leaves blow onto your pristine, green expanse. Or spending uncountable hours dealing canasta for another of your wife’s afternoon tea parties. Or sitting through a myriad of Wagner opera’s because your boss keeps giving you tickets. Or, God forbid, spending infinity sitting on the john because your colitis has proved to be intractable.
You get the inkling. No clouds, no harps, no wings, just eternal acne. If the prospect does not introduce abject fear in your breast, then you are already dead.
TsarPat
Dear Tsar,
ReplyDeleteIf I did not know better, I would say you are a communist bastard. But in realty, you are something far worse and I can see what you are up to. You are starting a new religion with yourself as God. If people believe in the Tsar, they will be excused from both heaven and hell! Send money to the Tsar and you will avoid either an eternity of torture or an eternity of boredom. A brilliant plan, my friend; Wish I had thought of it. Will there be a Sunday service with offering plates and everything?
Dear Parishioner: The Church of Fero is far more subtle than that. For a weekly fee, we waive the requirement to attend church. For an additional fee you will be allowed to watch one or more football games in season, and forbidden to mow the lawn the rest of the year. We have a fee schedule for the classes of transgressions and crimes that we absolve so that parishioners can join the Great Hall of Fero (similar to a German beer tent) when they cash in their chips (all of which must be cashed by the Church of Fero). For those whose income exceeds $250K, we have a special tithing option of 20% (because we're at least twice as good as any other church). The Church of Fero does not discriminate: If you have money, then you can join.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, how much money do you have?
His Excellency TsarPat
The revival of Indulgences is a wicked stroke of a brilliant heretic. Watch out for Martin Luther!
ReplyDeleteMarty cashed out some time ago as I recall. He wasn't a member of my church, so to hell with him (pun intended).
ReplyDeleteBut indulgences have been popular for many decades now, mostly from WashDC. It's time religions got back in on the scam.
Reverend TsarPat