Biting winds, subzero temperatures, unassembled snowmen, winter-weary depression, makes you wish the recession had not destroyed your get out of here and go south funds. You need something to think about that takes your mind off your misery. Well, try to get you mind around the “Big Bang Theory”. It will get your mind off winter’s stranglehold on you.
Biogenesis is what scientist call the study of the origin of life. The Big Bang is the event that they say led to the formation of the universe. A little tiny speck, the size of an atom, incredibly dense, filled with energy, under super extreme high temperature and pressure, blew up and created a universe filled with homogeneous and isotropic dense energy. Are you with me so far? O K, now, this ever expanding universe, consisting of quark-gluon plasma and elementary particles, starts to smash everything together at speeds faster than the speed of light, which created particle-antiparticle pairs which caused a baryogenesis reaction resulting in quarks and leptons which resulted in the predominance of matter over antimatter. Voila! Our Universe is born! Then, it was just a matter of time (14billion years to be exact) until our solar system came together with earth smack in the middle of a Goldilocks zone, not too close and not far from the sun. Then, a single cell evolved into 30 million species (including human beings) co inhabiting our lovely planet. That only took 4 billion years to happen. I wonder what’s going to happen next?!!
The Tsar knows what's going to happen next. Saturn is about to wobble out of orbit, suck up Earth, which will then orbit around Saturn instead of the Sun. Soon the temps will fall to 300 degrees below zero, to about the point where Michiganders start thinking about putting on a coat. Fossil fuels will become so expensive that only Microsoft stock owners and politicians can afford to heat their homes. All work will stop while the world joins in the quest for heat. Soon the forests will disappear in clouds of smoke. Soon everyone will die and Fox News will go off the air. Only two souls will remain; two old farts so absorbed in their heated chess match, that they notice nothing, not even the disappearance from the airwaves of Sarah Palin. Yes, Harry, you and I will be the only ones left . . . and I'm going to be the World Chess Champion.
ReplyDeleteTsar Pat
Yeah but I will be the second best player in the universe.
ReplyDeleteI hereby give to you the prestigious award for the most imaginative writer in rural Pennsylvania. Included with your award is a one night stand (on February 23) with a gorgeous Swedish nymphomaniac. This is better than Obama's Nobel Peace Price. Although, it is about getting a piece that won't happen.