PLUG-INS REVISITED

All right, I admit it. Last week’s blog was a gimcrack one. It was rather tasteless to suggest a plug-in that you place in your ass in order to understand all that Internet information. But, think about it; don’t we need some help making use of all that complicated knowledge? It may not be a smart ass plug-in but we need something to help us. Wouldn’t it be great to actually understand and use information such as “Boolean Logic”? AND, OR, NOT operators could be very helpful, if we knew how to use them. Why, we could even write computer language if we knew how to use zeros and ones. I have studied Homomorphisms and Isomorphisms but I still do not have the slightest idea what the heck they are. Propositonal calculus is way over my head. It would be great to plug in something somewhere and have instant understanding. Unlike Socrates, the only thing I know is that I do not know everything. Maybe it’s better that way.

   “REAL KNOWLEDGE IS TO KNOW THE EXTENT OF ONE’S IGNORANCE.”

                                                               Confucius 

THE NEXT BIG THING

We have experienced the Internet, E-mail, Facebook, Twitter, Smartphones, WikiLeaks, Global warming, Economic meltdown and the crazy Organic food fad. What’s next? Whatever it is, it will only last about 20 minutes and then the next big thing will come along. The world is changing faster and faster. I can’t keep up. My next big thing is to escape from this world and go to the world of pleasant literature. I will put on my Bose noise cancelling headphones and spend my time reading 3,500 good books on my new Kindle Reader. Don’t bother me unless you have some good news. Now that would be a really big thing!

Technological changes are happening faster than most humans can assimilate them. For example, the Internet now has all the information and knowledge necessary to do anything but people do not have the intelligence and skill to take advantage of it. What we need is an app that would allow us to understand and use all that stuff. I am suggesting a plug-in that you put in your ass. It would be called the smart ass plug-in! 

REMEMBERING LIFE'S FIRST EXPERIENCES

I got up late and was surprised to see snow on the ground. First of December and the season’s first snow came down. The first of anything is always surprising. There are many “firsts” in a lifetime. Most of them are delightful but some are not. We tend to remember the best and worst “firsts” in our life. Especially, births and deaths are remembered. What a joy it is when your first child comes along but what awful sadness when your first parent dies. Life seems to be balanced that way. I try to stay focused on the good, not the bad. For instance, my first love and my first marriage (I only had one) and my first family are my greatest joy (thank you Nancy)! 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING DAY!

No leaves are left on my trees,

Signals of winter coming are clear,

From the North comes a cold breeze,

Tis hunting season, neighbor shot a deer,

Dark clouds say the ground will soon freeze,

Thanks are definitely in order so I give them here:

I am thankful for and delighted with the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic somewhere behind the morning. The gift of life is precious and I am thankful for it. The gift of being a part of a large, loving family is the best gift of all. There are so many things to be thankful for that it is impossible to list them all. So, I shall simply say, “THANKS!”

O. Henry said, "There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is purely American"

HOW IS YOUR VOCABULARY?

Mine is brobdingnagian but I suffer from lethologica. This does not discourage me from engaging in adoxography. I have been accused of being a philosophunculist as well as an inaniloquent person. However, the people who say these things usually get the dactylion from me. The lady next door is a callipygean and my friend in Pennsylvania is a gambrinous fellow who is usually capernoited. I am guilty of alphamegamia and anopisthography but strikhedonia helps me to cope. My wife is a hopeless cruciverbalist but I love her anyway. I hope that my witzelsucht does not vex you.

Thanksgiving is coming and we will soon be guilty of abligurition and cleptobiosis. We will be in a happy farctate with borborygmus. I plan on being a ventipotent, pyknic celebrant. If you knew the meaning of all the words used in this blog, you have won a worthless prize equal in value to Obama’s Noble Peace Prize. Congratulations!

“By words the mind is winged”! _Aristophanes  

THE OLYMPICS OF FIREFIGHTING

I just returned from Myrtle Beach, SC. where this year’s Firefighter Combat Challenge, World Championship was held. I was there to cheer for the 5-man relay team from the Fire Department at Artesia, NM. They are a small team from a small town in the New Mexico desert. At the regional competition, they were a surprise qualifier for the final World Championship. They were the first team from Artesia to ever qualify for the “Olympics Of Firefighting”. The team members are: Jeffrey Bishop, Toby Bratcher, Alfredo Garcia, Kyle Luginbyhl, and Marcus Teets. The competitors race against the clock as they simulate real-life firefighting by performing five tasks including climbing a 5 story tower, hoisting fire hoses, chopping, dragging hoses and rescuing a life-sized, 175 lb dummy. They did not win the championship but they had a new personal best time and they beat a lot of other teams.

After watching the competition, I have new respect for firemen. The physical demands of their profession are extraordinary. Their desire to save lives and property are commendable. They are heroes with strong bodies and trained minds who are ready to save you. Besides all of that, they are very nice people. I am proud to be the father of a firefighter. It is nice to know that there are people in this world who are trying to help others!

ANOTHER AMERICAN REVOLUTION

No shots were fired, no heads were cut off, and nothing was blown up. Unlike most of the rest of the countries in the world, we can have a peaceful change in political power without death and destruction. That is the wonderful thing about our great democratic republic. The people rule through the process of voting. Yes, I know that the people do not always figure out the best way to proceed, but after trial and error and the effect of the pendulum syndrome, we have been able to build and maintain the best and the most powerful nation in the history of the world. I feel thankful and fortunate to be a part of it. My vote did count!

The Rent’s Too High Party, the Third Finger Party, the Taxed Enough Party, The Arrogant Bastard’s Party, and all the other quirky Parties of America had their say and now it is time to change direction and try to do better. I am sure that something good will happen; I hope!